"Your husband is a big disgrace to the concept of effeminism..." Shirly, Corinne's boss, ranted on as Corinne held the phone to her ears whilst her face sank into her right hand. This is the 7th caller in nine minutes since the news was aired on the morning news channel. Her Facebook and Twitter have been buzzing away with notifications and she knows what they were about and who they could possibly be from. Corinne hung up before her boss could finish the sentence and that in itself would demand an explanation later.
Being married to the first man on the planet to openly declare he's got morning sickness, and confirmed by a registered GP, isn't a good idea at all. "Look, honey," Oyewale said to his wife, Corinne, "I am not making this up at all. You witness the way I wake up lately and start feeling queasy. You also know how my nose has been overly and negatively sensitive to any smells of recent. How could I have known Greg will make a national news of it when I called and told him I couldn't come to work because I might be having morning si..?" "Shut up," shouted Corinne, "can you hear yourself, Oye? This is a woman thing and we don't wonna share that one last luxury with you, don't you see? Isn't it bad enough that we have had our maternity leave slashed in half so you can cash in already and then to make things worse we have to now pay tax on child benefit because we earn more than you? How can you possibly be having morning sickness when I'm the one who is pregnant, why?" Cried Corinne as Oyewale sat down on the floor of the bathroom beside the bathtub.
Oyewale, a skilled laborer who worked on heights on a construction site, is someone who likes to play by the books. He, out of 50 laborers, was first to pass the CITB Health and Safety test for construction workers and had just had a CSCS card approval for skilled laborers. This would please the primary contractor as he is desperate to have someone who has passed such test to supervise work on site. Unfortunately, Greg, Oyewale's site supervisor, is yet to pass the test after several attempts. It is evident that Oyewale might be put up for a higher position should the HSE officers come for supervision the following week. They'd been on the site three weeks before and issued a control measure after assessing the risk on the site in a bid to halt the job until they can get the primary contractor to provide PPEs and training for the workers.
Hence it was evident that Greg did what he did in order to discredit and ridicule Oyewale. But that doesn't rule out the fact that Corinne's husband has successfully stolen the thunder from his wife's circumstances and very soon would become a trend men would start to emulate everywhere. But in reality, Oyewale is sick. He truly has morning sickness or at least he exhibits signs that relate remarkably to what 80% of women would normally feel in the first phase of their pregnancy. Oyewale kept spitting and craved for sweets things. He kept holding is mouth and pushed his head forward while running to a sink nearby each time his wife opened the fridge. He could perceive the smell from anywhere in their little council flat. Corinne would run after him to make sure he was ok. However, she wasn't finding it funny. It couldn't be funny because a woman normally looks forward to that time of early pregnancy when her husband would pamper her and apologise for putting her through the pain and discomfort of conception. In few cases, she would be in for some good treats to spas, massage rooms and just basic maintenance all catered to. Unfortunately, in this case and on top of all Corinne had undergone, she still had to do the school run for Jemma that morning. "If Jemma was your daughter, you would do her school run even if you were dying, Oye." Corinne moaned and slammed the door as she walked away.
Oyewale remembered he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket while Corinne was lashing out loud on him earlier and then decided to check who might have been trying to reach him after she'd left. It was a voicemail from Greg. "Ehh, hello it's GReg," with a Scottish accent like he was asking questions as opposed to passing an information "the pRess were here on the site and are askin' afteh ya jos' nau, okae? I didnae wootta sae so I told'em ya addRess, okae? Ehh, so they' on theiR wae to ya house nau? Ehh, I'm soRRy bot ya gonna thank me for makin' you a star todae? Bye nau, okae? GReg." This was 18 minutes ago since the voicemail came in and Oyewale works about 16 miles away just around 28 minutes drive on google map. And like Oyewale rightfully deducted, it was only less than two minutes before his wife stormed back into the bathroom lividly asking why the press was outside by the door and anxious to be buzzed in. It couldn't be worse for Oyewale at this point - sick, stardom waiting by the door and an English pregnant wife with a daughter running late ready to rain her Jordie wrath on him.
In Aiyetoro, Ogun state - Southern part of Nigeria, West Africa where Oyewale hails from, being the first son of a polygamous family of three wives and 11children and only child to have crossed the vast oceans to the promising shores of western lands, this wouldn't have been an issue at all. The reason is unknown.
- Aburo #greenvocabs
